Trouble Sleeping? Try These Tricks

Trouble Sleeping? How to Tell if Your Bedtime Issues Are Normal or a Sign You Need Help — Plus Tips for Restful Nights

Imagine this: It’s 2 a.m., your eyes are wide open, and your mind is running a marathon of thoughts—worst-case scenarios, to-do lists, memories from childhood you’d rather forget. You toss and turn, glance at the clock, and realize it’s been hours since you last slept. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.

For many adults who’ve experienced childhood abuse or neglect, sleep can be a tricky, elusive friend. Night after night, they find themselves lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering why restful sleep feels like a distant memory. Is this just occasional insomnia, or is there something more? How do you know if your sleep troubles are normal stress or a sign you need to seek help?

Let’s dive into what might be disrupting your sleep, especially if you’re an adult survivor of childhood trauma, and explore practical tips to reclaim your nights.

The Sleep Struggle: A Common Tale for Childhood Trauma Survivors

Meet Lisa. She’s in her late 30s, has a stressful job, and two kids to chase after. But her biggest challenge isn’t her busy schedule—it’s her nights. She often lays awake for hours, her mind replaying childhood memories of neglect and emotional chaos. Sometimes, she wakes up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, feeling like she’s right back in her childhood home, vulnerable and alone.

Lisa’s story isn’t unique. Many adult survivors of childhood abuse and neglect find their sleep disrupted—sometimes for reasons they don’t fully understand. It’s not just “stress” or “bad habits”; trauma can literally change how your brain and body respond to sleep.

Why Trauma Can Disrupt Sleep — and How to Recognize the Signs

1. Hyperarousal:

Trauma often leaves the brain in a heightened state of alertness. You’re constantly “on,” waiting for the next threat—even when there’s nothing around. This hypervigilance can make it nearly impossible to relax enough to fall asleep or stay asleep.

2. Intrusive Thoughts and Flashbacks:

Unwanted memories or flashbacks can hit at night, pulling you out of sleep or preventing you from falling asleep in the first place.

3. Nightmares:

Trauma survivors often experience vivid nightmares, sometimes replaying traumatic events or creating new, distressing scenarios.

4. Physical Responses:

Trauma can lead to increased heart rate, muscle tension, and even digestive issues—all of which interfere with restful sleep.

5. Disrupted Sleep Cycles:

Over time, trauma can throw your sleep-wake cycle out of whack, leading to irregular sleep patterns or insomnia.

How Do You Know if Your Sleep Troubles Are “Normal” or a Sign You Need Help?

It’s normal to occasionally have a sleepless night, especially during stressful periods. But if you notice:

- Lasting difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep for more than a few weeks

- Frequent nightmares or night terrors

- Feeling exhausted or irritable during the day despite spending enough time in bed

- Waking up feeling unrefreshed or with lingering anxiety or fear

It might be time to seek help. Chronic sleep problems can impact your physical health, mental well-being, and overall quality of life.

Practical Tips to Improve Sleep When You’re a Trauma Survivor

Here are some evidence-based, trauma-sensitive tips to help you catch better Zzzz’s:

1. Create a Calm Bedtime Routine

Establish a soothing pre-sleep ritual—like gentle stretching, listening to calming music, or practicing deep breathing. Think of it as giving your brain a gentle “goodnight” message.

2. Set a Consistent Sleep Schedule

Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day—even on weekends. Consistency helps regulate your internal clock.

3. Make Your Sleep Environment Safe and Comfortable

Your bedroom should feel like a sanctuary. Use soft lighting, comfortable bedding, and remove anything that might trigger distress. Consider adding a weighted blanket—it can provide comforting pressure that reduces hyperarousal.

4. Limit Screen Time Before Bed

Screens emit blue light, which can interfere with melatonin production. Try to turn off devices at least an hour before bedtime.

5. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Mindfulness, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can soothe an overactive nervous system. Apps and guided recordings can be helpful.

6. Journal or Use Grounding Exercises

If intrusive thoughts keep you awake, writing them down or grounding yourself with physical sensations (like holding a textured object) can help redirect your mind.

7. Address Underlying Trauma

If trauma-related nightmares or flashbacks are persistent, consider seeking trauma-focused therapy. Processing your experiences can reduce their impact on your sleep.

8. Avoid Caffeine and Alcohol

Both can interfere with sleep quality. Caffeine is a stimulant, and alcohol may make you sleepy initially but disrupts sleep later.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your sleep issues persist despite these tips, or if they’re accompanied by severe anxiety, depression, or flashbacks, it’s time to talk to a mental health professional. Therapies like trauma-informed cognitive-behavioral therapy, EMDR, or specialized sleep interventions can make a huge difference.

Remember: Your Sleep Is Valid—and Restoring It Is Possible

Lisa’s story isn’t just a sad tale—it's a reminder that trauma can impact sleep, but it doesn’t have to define your nights forever. With patience, support, and some trauma-sensitive strategies, you can reclaim restful sleep and wake up feeling more refreshed and resilient.

If you’re struggling with sleep and childhood trauma, know that help is available. You don’t have to do this alone—reach out, get support, and start turning those restless nights into restorative ones.

Need guidance or a tailored plan to improve your sleep?

Reach out to me here, check out Psychology Today for sleep specialists, or contact your doctor for some medical testing.

**Disclaimer:** This blog is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional medical or mental health advice. Names are fictional and do not represent any one person. If you have serious sleep issues, please consult a healthcare professional.

Sweet dreams are just a step away,

Jen McNeil, MSW, LICSW, CCTP